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Meet Abiola Abrams

1) Write a six-word memoir to describe yourself.

Beautifully flawed, human goddess, wonder woman!!

2) Tell us about your blog.

My two online hubs are my blog, “The Passionista Playbook,” and my web TV talk show, “Kiss & Tell TV.” I am a love and lifestyle blogger and vlogger.  The Passionista Playbook” started in late 2009 and “Abiola’s Kiss & Tell TV” started in 2008 as “Planet Abiola.” I write and broadcast all about living with passion. I cover love, sex, dating and relationships but also feature women’s lifestyle content: advice, celebrity and author interviews, plus food, style and travel. My favorite post of 2011 is my “Abiola’s Bombshell Academy,” a 30 day video vlog lifeclass about how to live the most juicy, passionate, fulfilling life possible. I will be expanding the videos to include homework and resources to accompany each video episode lesson. Link: http://www.abiolatv.com/bombshell-academy-lifeclass-how-to-live-your-juiciest-life/

3) What is your definition of digital sisterhood? [click]

Is your relationship heading to the next level? Or, maybe things have just been a bit underwhelming between the sheets? When you and your partner become intimate, ultimately great sex is the goal — we get that. But before you hit the lights there are a few topics the two of you should cover, together, if you want to minimize your chances of an awkward moment in bed. Knowing each other’s desires, preferences, and sexual past is key in starting things off on the right foot. Here’s some great advice from two of our favorite sexperts on how to get there.

Talk Fantasies, Fetishes, and Desires
Before you laugh, listen up. “Couples should definitely discuss fantasies and fetishes,” says Abiola Abrams, sex and relationships guru and creator of Abiola’s Passionista Playbook. “When you’re in the bed it may be too surprising to spring your furry fetish on your partner at that moment. Things like oils and lotions and potions are pretty standard. Those don’t really require discussion. But if you are a bondage queen or secret dominatrix, give your partner a heads up.”

It’s not uncommon for many men and women to feel embarrassed when the topic of pleasure toys comes up, but Twanna A. Hines, sex educator, and founder of FunkyBrownChick.com, says they can be the cure for a sex life that’s gone stale. “Toys aren’t just for tots,” she tells us. “Especially in long-term relationships, sex can begin to feel routine. From simple lotions to furry handcuffs, fun accessories help turn the heat up.”

Read more: http://www.essence.com/2012/01/09/5-sex-talks-you-and-your-partner-must-have/#.TwsFcF_i20U.twitter#ixzz1j0VVcXix

By Jessica Cruel

“He’s not that into you, because you’re not that into yourself.”

“He’s not that into you, because you’re not that into yourself.”

Well, damn. Reality star Abiola Abrams was telling the whole truth at the premiere Single In Stilettos conference, basically a haven for single gals to find out what’s cooking in the world of love, and learn the latest dating tips. Some say confidence is a woman’s most attractive trait, and Abrams was on hand to help women boost their self-image and their love outlook.

You have to get rid of all that emotional baggage, says Abrams. Now, it takes a while to collect “all those man-hating miniskirts,” so it is going to take more than a weekend to clean house. Love coach and YourTango expert Debi Berndt, who also spoke at the conference, believes that every person starts squeaky clean, but as we grow (from the womb up to eight years old) we are marred by our parents’ beliefs about relationships as well as all the negative things we see in our environment…

by Arielle Loren for Clutch Magazine

Audre Lorde once proclaimed that she wrote for those women who do not speak, for those who do not have a voice because they were so terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves. When it comes to sex, fear is a catalyst for silence and preserving ignorance. It’s the stigma, slut-shaming, curiosity-muting behaviors of ordinary people that silence those who want to better understand themselves and their bodies. Desire is natural, but navigating the contemporary world of sex is an acquired skill. Thus, it is important for black women to learn, teach, and inspire each other to embrace their sexuality, preserve their health, and live their best sex lives.

Below is a list of 10 powerful black women sustaining the spirit of Audre Lorde, speaking our fears about sex, and encouraging us to respect our voice and curiosities. If you’ve ever had a question about sex go unanswered, know that these women are passionate about educating, sharing stories, and spreading knowledge.